Dix: Hey Harry, have you noticed those jeans Butch’s wearing today? They are so tight, they might as well be painted on.

Harry: Now you mentioned it, they kind of remind me of what the men wore in the Tom of Finland drawings. See how they accentuate his beefy legs and backside? Maybe he has a hot date tonight.

Dix: Or some sleazy rendezvous with one of his muscle worshipping fuck buddies. The lucky guy will probably cum in his pants while peeling those impossibly tight jeans off his thighs.

Harry: I thought they’re not meant to cum until they have permission to.

Dix: You're talking to the wrong guy, since don't know much about the whole S&M thing. Where’s Butch when we need an experienced dom master?

Harry: I bet you’ll look good in a pair of skinny jeans. Lots of guys are wearing nowadays.

Dix: You must be kidding. Even though my leg are pretty chunky from all the lifting, I don’t think I’ve the guts to wear something fitting that snug.

Harry: You should give them a try and show off your bubble butt to all your daddy bears.

Dix: Nah. It would be a huge embarrassment if they accidentally split when I was simply bending down to pick something up.

Harry: In that case, better make sure you wear clean, expensive underwear and no going commando.

Dix: Going commando is not really my thing. Can you imagine getting your foreskin caught in the zip? Ouch!

Harry: You’ll be surprise how often that happens. When I signed up to be a paramedic, I never would have thought I would be freeing trapped foreskins. I think I’ve done that twice so far in my career. It usually looks scary and much worse than it actually is, in most cases it causes no lasting damage. Do you know, given the choice, I prefer button flies any day?

Dix: Do you? I’ve never tried button flies. The closest I’ve used are those buttoned up rugby shorts back in my school days. Isn’t it a bit fiddly?

Harry: Not really. Just something one gets used to. It takes just as long doing up as zips once you have some practice, but it makes taking pants off a breeze. One pull and it is undone.

Dix: Hmm… I’m not convinced, but willing to give it a go some day if I find a pair of jeans with button flies that fits around my big fat belly.

Butch: Here are your beers, gentlemen. Is our new barman checking out my butt as I walked away from the bar?

Dix: You mean Trevor? How should we know? We were chatting and didn’t pay any attention, but he could be – and probably not the only one.

Butch: That’s right, Trevor. He made a comment about my jeans while he was pouring our pints, that’s all.

Harry: Well, they are pretty tight and don’t leave much to the imagination. Are you trying to impress a date later?

Butch: Yeah right. The truth is I have run out of clean jeans this morning and had to put on this old pair I found. I think they are a few years old, and my legs have bulked up a bit since I bought them. Oh god, I've worn them at work all day, what would my colleagues think?

Harry: I’m sure they know you well enough not to care. Anyway, at least your big hairy arse looks good in them. Here’s a toast to your hirsutus gluteus maximus!

Dix: Yeah. To your big hirsutus gluteus maximus!

Butch: Can’t you leave my arse alone. You guys are terrible. Hirsutus gluteus maximus to you too!

Harry: Maybe you should keep hold of those jeans for going on the pull at the clubs in the future.

Butch: Seriously? I think my clubbing days are long behind me. Been there, done that, and lost the T-shirt in the darkroom.

Dix: Come on, you sound like an old man. We should all go clubbing some time. It’s more fun going in a group.

Harry: You’ve never mentioned you like clubbing. Just have to find a weekend we can all make, I suppose. Honestly, it felt like a lifetime since Ian and I have been to a club. We used to go dancing all the time when we first start going out.

Butch: That’s married life for you, but I guess it won’t take a lot of persuading to get Ian to put his dancing shoes on.

Dix: Are there any decent gay clubs in town these days?

Butch: You’re asking the wrong person. I’m a bit out of the loop. I don’t really mind as long as we’re going to a men-only club or better still a bear club. These days, I don’t have the patience dealing with all the attitude from twinkies and drunk hens parties trying to feel up my chest.

Harry: No, that’s not a combination of a good night out. Remember how much fun it was rubbing up against all the sweaty, hairy bodies on the dance floor? Those were the days.

Dix: You're making me jealous. Love to have been there, even though I can’t dance to safe my life. I’ve only been clubbing a few times when I got dragged along. All I remember was the beautiful people there, which made me felt really self-conscious about my own body.

Butch: Well, that’s why I prefer going to a bear club. There’s little judgement on body size, and I can happily take my top off without worrying about not having a six-pack.

Dix: But you have a great body. Frankly, I’d rather have a six-pack of beer.

Harry: Me too. I feel a lot more comfortable in the relaxed atmosphere of a bear club, and nobody would care how my gut jiggles with I try to dance. It’s also a bonus if one’s hairy all over.

Dix: Sounds like I’ve been missing out.

Butch: It would be even better if the clubs were drugs free, but that’s asking a bit much.

Harry: I think most of the clubs have a “no drug policy”, but it’s nearly impossible to police. There have been many times when I worked nights, I had to attend to drugged out idiots coming out of clubs. If that doesn’t put anyone off drugs, I don’t know what will.

Butch: Of course, I feel sorry for you having to deal with them.

Harry: It’s part of life for paramedics these days, unfortunately. It’s bad enough we have to bandage up all the cuts and bruises from legless drunks, depending on what drugs were taken, it could be life or death if not treated appropriately.

Dix: Yes, Dr Harry! I can imagine. Thankfully, drugs have zero appeal to me.

Harry: Don’t get me started about drugs, otherwise we’ll be here all night.

Butch: That’s why I always say you’re my hero. I won’t have the patience dealing with druggies, especially the ones who are abusive, when you only have their best interests at heart.

Harry: You’re right. The ones who’ve passed out are comparatively easier to deal with, just like treating a piece of dead wood, but the violent ones are the worst, which is why many of us are issued body cams nowadays.

Dix: I doubt many people will give you grief and pick a fight with a big, stocky guy like you.

Harry: You’ve no idea. They're not thinking rationally, and just thought you are trying to spoil their fun or whatever trip they are on.

Dix: I guess you’d rather treat trapped foreskins any day.

Butch: What? Trapped foreskins? Now, that’s a huge tangent! How did you come up with that?

Harry: Oh. While you were getting beers, Dix and I were discussing the merits of button and zip flies, that’s all. By the way, do you have a preference?

Butch: Of all topics, how you ended up talking about flies? I’ve no idea. Personally, it makes no difference to me, I can happily work both.

Dix: I’ve always used zip, but willing to give button ones a go. Do you know Harry has treated guys with their foreskin caught in the zip before?

Butch: Isn’t he a just wealth of experience when it comes to medical emergencies. Thinking about it, years ago back at school, a boy did nick his cock with the zip after gym class. There were a few of us left in the changing room and out of the blue there was a scream, turned out he was zipping up his school pants so quickly and a bit of skin was trapped in the zipper. One of us ran to find the school nurse, and she came back with some oil and freed his foreskin in no time.

Harry: Ooh, Matron! Who would any boys get through school without them?

Butch: Definitely. It wouldn’t surprise me, she had probably dealt with it many times before. The boy in question was lucky, since the few of us who were there only gave him a hard time for a week or so but didn’t spread it around the school, so his reputation was left intact.

Harry: And his foreskin too. He was lucky. School kids can be very cruel.

Dix: Don’t I know it? I would have died of shame if it happened to me and the whole school knew about it.

Harry: Like I said. It's actually pretty common, but probably nearly unheard of in America, where most boys and men are cut.

Butch: Or the Middle East, or parts of Africa.

Dix: Although I don’t think that’s the reason why they’re cut! Can you imagine being cut? I can’t. Oh, no offence if either of you are circumcised.

Butch: That’s a very personal question, but you should know the answer, since you've seen us both naked before on the beach in Sitges. I’ll be happy to show you my big uncut cock again if you follow me to the gents.

Dix: Of course. I wasn’t thinking, that’s all. And, thanks for the offer, but you can show off your long foreskin to someone else. I’ve one of my own.

Butch: Well, in that case do you fancy some docking fun later, mine is very accommodating.

Harry: Can you two grow up? I can’t believe we’re talking about foreskin and docking now!

Butch: What’s wrong with foreskin and docking? I’m sure you’re familiar with both.

Dix: Docking? What’s that?

Harry: Haven’t you heard of it before? Docking is when you put your cock into someone else’s foreskin and vice versa.

Dix: Really? Is that a thing?

Butch: It sure is, next time you’re playing with a daddy bear with long stretchy foreskin, surely he’ll be happy to show you.

Dix: Just how do you find out about these things? Well, learn something new every day. I must give it a go next time the opportunity presents itself.

Butch: I expect a full report afterwards. Just make sure you find a guy with enough foreskin and not too tight, otherwise it won’t work.

Harry: That’s enough docking tips, Butch. Not sure if I want to listen any more. I guess there are plenty of docking videos online if you’re really interested.

Dix: Again, god bless internet porn. I’ll make sure I search for it later, for educational purposes, obviously.

Butch: Tell me another one! If your porn addiction gets any worse, Harry and I would have to do an intervention.

Dix: I don’t have an addiction. Actually, it’s funny you’ve reminded me once I hooked up with a guy with really tight foreskin, it was kind of awkward since I’ve never come across it before him.

Harry: It’s not uncommon. I think the medical term is phimosis. I hope you didn’t hurt him.

Dix: No, I seem to recall he was a charming older man, not really a bear but nice enough. He has one of those upwardly curved cock with a thick base, but the opening of his foreskin barely stretched pass his piss hole. It’s nearly impossible getting my little finger inside, let alone my tongue.

Butch: That’s a tight one. Was it cheesy inside?

Harry: Ugh! You can be really disgusting, you know?

Butch: Not as disgusting as cheesy foreskin, but apparently it’s a kink for some guys.

Dix: Thankfully, it wasn’t cheesy as far as I can remember, otherwise I would be out of the door in a flash. I think he had the good sense of cleaning it thoroughly before I arrived.

Butch: So what did you do with it?

Dix: Well, after sucking it for a while, he asked me to finish him off using my hands. With a firm grip and trying not to pull too vigorously, it wasn’t long before thick cum oozed out of the little opening all over his shaft and ran down to his balls. I must have done a fine job, judging from the noises he made, but there was little chemistry between us, and we never saw each other again.

Butch: So he was just another notch on your bedpost then. At this rate, you'll need another bed to keep score.

Dix: If we're comparing numbers, I doubt I’ll come anywhere close to all your conquests.

Butch: I do have some standards and don’t drop my pants for anyone remotely interested.

Harry: Between the two of you, is there anyone in town you don’t know in the biblical sense?

Butch: You’re one to talk. Before going steady with Ian, you had your share of nocturnal adventures with most big hairy men who crossed your path.

Harry: What do you mean by “most”? Back in the days of my prime, it would’ve been selfish of me not to share my gifts with all the horny and willing bears.

Dix: I’ve no idea you’re that predatory. By the way, you’re still in your prime. As you know, bears get better with age anyway.

Harry: That’s very nice of you to say so, but I'm fighting a losing battle trying to stay in shape these days.

Butch: For once, I agree with Dix, plenty of guys would love to get their hands on you. I think given the chance, the new barman, Trevor wouldn’t say no.

Harry: I doubt it, but I appreciate you guys trying to boost my ego. Lucky for me, Ian likes this battered old bear, so I can care less what other guys think.

Butch: You are selling yourself short again! Ian is the lucky one.

Harry: The jury is still out on that one. Well, at the end of the day, I suppose we are both lucky finding what the other was looking for.

Dix: That’s so sweet.

Harry: Mind you, we have on rare occasions played both together and separately with other guys for a bit of no strings attached fun.

Butch: Glad the open relationship thing is working out for you guys. It’s not for all couples.

Harry: I know. Well, looks like both your glasses need topping up. I think this is my round, would you like the same again?

Dix: Yes, please. Thanks, Harry.

Butch: Same here. If I didn’t know you any better, I would have thought you are making an excuse to talk to Trevor at the bar.

Harry: Well, I admit he is easy on the eye. Ten years ago, I probably would’ve put in more effort but not these days. Gentlemen, I’ll be back in a bit with your beer.