Dix: Talking about Ian, how come he’s not here today now Pirates of Penzance has finished?

Harry: Oh, Ian is at his school’s parent-teacher meeting as we speak. He sends his apology.

Dix: I understand. He’s a busy man. I’ve no idea, when do you guys find time to spend together?

Harry: Trust me, it could be difficult some weeks, better now the show is over. He has been a bit stressed recently, so it’s nice having quiet evenings with him whenever I’m not on duty.

Dix: Oh! What happened? Is he OK?

Harry: He’s fine, it’s just school stuff bothering him, that’s all. You see, a couple of parents found out Ian is gay and worried about their kids being groomed or touched up, so complained to the headmaster.

Dix: How ignorant are some people still nowadays? It’s really none of their business, and just because someone is gay doesn’t immediately make him a paedophile.

Harry: Tell me about it, Ian was furious when he was told about the complaints, and so was I. Thankfully, the headmaster is very understanding and fully supports Ian.

Dix: That’s good. These parents must be in the same league with your homophobic neighbour.

Harry: No doubt about that. It’s terribly presumptuous for people like them to assume all gay men are automatically attracted to young men. I know for a fact Ian has only gone for men his age or older all his life, almost all of them are big hairy bears, and not a twink in sight.

Dix: Sure. I would feel pretty insulted, too. Like Ian, they do nothing for me either. It’s the fathers they should be worried about!

Harry: You’re not the only one. A couple of years ago, Ian came home one day after coaching the swimming team, and won’t stop talking about how sexy was one of the boys’ dad.

Dix: Cool. How come no one ever told me Ian coaches swimming? He’s kept it quiet.

Harry: Probably, it just never came up in conversation. If you look at him today, you would never have thought he used to swim competitively for his county before.

Dix: No way! I need to see some proof.

Harry: There weren’t many photos of him with a washboard stomach wearing a tiny pair of speedos, but he does have his medals tucked away somewhere to show for it.

Dix: Wow! I’d love to see them. He must be really good, so why did he stop?

Harry: According to Ian, the training schedule was ridiculously punishing. But in the end, he decided to concentrate on his studies instead, after losing his form following an injury.

Dix: What a shame? It must be hell spending hours in the pool most days, week in, week out.

Harry: I guess so. And he loves his food too much, so found it difficult keeping to a strict diet.

Dix: That I can sympathize. No wonder he’s a great cook these days. So are you, obviously.

Harry: Thanks. We do like cooking and eating, a bit too much at times. Can’t you tell?

Dix: Tell “this big belly here” about it! Does he still swim these days?

Harry: Only for fun. He kept telling me he looked like a walrus in the water nowadays.

Dix: That’s a bit harsh. He’s nowhere close to morbidly obese big.

Harry: Not yet, and I hope he’ll never reach that size. Didn’t you see him in the sea during our holiday in Sitges? He was doing laps back and forth in the sea at the speed of a torpedo.

Dix: No, I only knew he disappeared into the water and re-emerged some time later. I thought it’s better not to ask what he was up to, just in case I caused him any embarrassments.

Harry: It’s no secret Ian had his share of fun in the sea just like everybody else, and it wasn’t the swimming kind. You were probably too busy checking out all the daddy bears to notice.

Dix: I’ll pay more attention if we go together again, I really enjoyed myself last time.

Butch: Hey. I’m back, guys, and I’m bearing cold beers for everyone.

Dix: Great. Just what I need. Thanks, Butch.

Harry: Thank you very much. I was about to send a search party to look for you.

Butch: I haven’t gone for that long. How hot does Trevor look in that muscle man tank top? Even if it’s covered in big patches of sweat stains.

Dix: That’s what I was saying earlier. I doubt he has stopped for a rest since our last round.

Butch: Well, his sexy arse is in for a long night, I don’t see the temperature dropping much after sundown. So, I expect there will be plenty of sweaty, drunken bears in here tonight.

Dix: Yeah, I think so too. Well, guys, to a sweaty night of debauchery!

Harry: A sweaty night of debauchery to you, too!

Butch: Hear, hear. To a sweaty night of debauchery! It’s days like this that make me wish I had a pool to cool down in.

Dix: We were just talking about our holiday in Sitges. I’m sure it was even hotter than this, but didn’t feel like it.

Butch: The cool sea breeze helped. And when it gets too hot, one could just go for a dip in the sea.

Dix: By the way, did you know Ian was swimming laps in the sea during the holiday?

Butch: Of course, unless I’ve mistaken a nimble sea lion in the water for him. Why? Didn’t you?

Dix: No, I must be looking in the wrong direction.

Butch: Yeah, in the direction of all those naked hairy bears. He told me he used to compete. Not if you can tell looking at him today, but he can still swim faster than most average Joe.

Dix: Harry just told me. I’m not the strongest swimmer, I can just about stay afloat in the water and that’s about it, I’m more of a land animal really. Maybe Ian can give me a few pointers given the chance.

Butch: I’m sure you would manage perfectly well in the water if you’re chasing after a sexy polar bear. So, Harry, what’s Ian’s excuse for his absence today?

Harry: I was just telling Dix, Ian has a parent-teacher meeting at his school this afternoon.

Butch: I can’t think of anything more boring. Does he have to turn up to it?

Harry: Obviously! The clue is in the name of the meeting. But especially this time, because a couple of parents were making a fuss over a gay teacher, namely Ian, teaching their kids.

Butch: Are you serious? Which hole did they crawl out of? Can’t believe there are homophobes like that around these days? Didn’t we just celebrate Pride week not long ago?

Dix: Unfortunately, there is still plenty of homophobia out there, which means the fight is far from over. I feel sorry for Ian. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met and won’t hurt a fly.

Butch: Indeed. How’s his school handling it?

Harry: He has full support from the headmaster. Don’t they know, anyone working with kids these days has to be fully vetted? No surprise, there’s never any problem with Ian’s background.

Butch: So what are they complaining about?

Harry: It doesn’t stop these ignorant, narrow-minded people from causing troubles.

Butch: Maybe those parents thought there was some secret gay agenda to recruit and convert boys into homosexuals. It’s completely ridiculous.

Harry: You’ll be surprised by how many gullible people will buy into these conspiracy theories.

Dix: Don’t they know, it’s impossible to turn someone gay? Or turn a gay person straight.

Butch: Just like me, I’m your classic hopeless case. I love cocks too much.

Harry: Tell us something we don’t know. You’re a hopeless case in more ways than one.

Butch: Am I now? Do tell?

Dix: I, for one, thought Ian would be a perfect gay role model for the students.

Harry: Me too. I wish I had a gay teacher like Ian when I was at school, maybe I wouldn’t be bullied as much for being gay, at least there will be somebody to turn to who understands what it’s like.

Butch: Yeah. Even though it’s nice seeing celebrities coming out in the news, it means so much more when it’s someone the kids know and respect, living life as a proud gay man.

Dix: Definitely. Knowing Ian, I bet he’s very popular with his students.

Harry: If there is a prize for most popular teacher of the year, he’ll surely be in the running. Popularity aside, his maths class always scored highly in their exams. He’s great at making difficult subjects easy to understand and even fun according to some feedbacks.

Dix: Having a good teacher makes a big difference. I can remember my biology teacher to this day, he really brought the subject alive and is truly inspirational to me.

Harry: Not sure if I’ll say Ian is inspirational, but his students are certainly appreciative of him. So, you can imagine what a slap in the face having parents questioning him as a teacher just because he prefers sex with men rather than women.

Butch: Yeah! No wonder he’s pissed off. I would be too if I’m in his shoes.

Dix: By the way, is he out at school?

Harry: All the staff know we are married, and he's opened about it to his students whenever the subject comes up. Gone are the days of the Draconian Section 28 at schools, thankfully.

Dix: Yeah, we had sex ed at school, but not a hint of homosexuality was never mentioned. I was none the wiser about this stupid law until it was finally abolished and came to the realization of its damaging effects on young people.

Harry: Ian would be in big trouble if it’s still in effect.

Butch: How do Ian’s students feel about him being gay?

Harry: I don’t think it’s an issue at all, if anything, they thought it’s pretty cool to have a gay teacher. Now and then someone from his classes will crack a joke about gay people, you know what Ian is like, instead of taking it personally, he would come up with some witty rhetoric to shut them up or gross them out.

Butch: Typical Ian. Building like a big, formidable bear that can eat them for breakfast helped too.

Harry: Ian is not that scary, he’s a sweet teddy bear really.

Butch: You would say that.

Dix: Most of my teachers were women, but regardless, I don’t think I would dare talk to any of them about men or sex. It might be different if I had a teacher like Ian. Has any confused and questioning students ever turned to him for advice?

Harry: Not many, but he has only mentioned a small handful through the years. They mostly wanted someone to talk to and get some reassurance. For the serious cases, Ian just refers them to the school councillors.

Butch: They have councillors these days? I must be getting old, no such things in my school days.

Harry: Yeah, they do. You know, mental health is a big thing these days and I think most schools have them, which is not a bad thing.

Butch: I don’t have kids, so am quite detached from it all.

Harry: I only know because of Ian.

Butch: You’ve to make sure he comes out drinking with us next time.

Dix: That’s right. The last time I saw him must have been after the Pirates of Penzance, and he still had a bit of makeup on. Do you know what they are putting on next?

Harry: I’ve no idea. You’ve to ask him yourself when you see him, but I think the drama group are taking a break first.

Butch: They deserve a well earn rest after putting on such a brilliant show.

Harry: It’ll be nice to see more of each other. It’s tough some weeks when I'm working long shifts.

Dix: Sure. I bet Ian feels the same way as well. At least you guys got each other, some days I wish there was someone to go home to.

Harry: You’ll do one day. Just have to keep looking.

Butch: Meanwhile, shagging as many randy daddy bears as possible.

Dix: Come on, it’s not as if I’m going from one random hook up to another.

Butch: You should try getting to know them a little, before jumping into bed straight away.

Dix: I do sometime, but very often they’re just after sex, since they're already married and only looking for a bit of fun on the side.

Harry: There’s no harm in playing with guys like that, but it won’t land you a partner.

Dix: Tell me about it. But I can’t help it whenever I’m horny.

Butch: That’s all the time, then. You have such a hard life. How do you keep up with the demand?

Dix: I don’t. It’s a shame all the available ones live far away, if not halfway across the world.

Harry: Always the case, which is why I count myself very lucky finding Ian.

Butch: I was so relieved when you did, rather than ended up like a sad old hermit.

Harry: No chance of that. I would just move in with you and annoy the hell out of you from dawn to dust.

Butch: What a lucky escape for me, then! Remind me to buy Ian a pint next time I see him for sparing me from that living nightmare.

Dix: You two living together will make one seriously amusing sitcom.

Harry: Or more likely a murder drama. Just who would like to watch two big, hairy guys constantly winding each other up?

Dix: I would! Especially if they’re easy on the eye and show a bit of skin now and then.

Butch: What? Like that bear comedy series? It’s so funny whenever they bicker, if only the chubby one would strip off more often. Trust me, Harry, you are missing out.

Harry: You’re so predictable. I’ll get around to it one day.

Dix: You definitely should! Now, tell me, is it wrong, whenever I watched those bears getting into all sorts of embarrassing situations, I ended up both laughing and getting an erection at the same time?

Butch: Of course not. It’s only natural. Whenever I’m home alone, I rather like lazing on my sofa, butt naked watching TV with a cold beer in hand. If I get hard, I get hard, who cares?

Harry: Why doesn’t that surprise me? You’re such a pig! Won’t it be better just watch porn?

Butch: I do that too. It was hilarious one time the pizza delivery man showed up early, so I quickly threw on a dressing gown to answer the door, but didn’t notice my hard cock was poking straight out. The poor guy didn’t know where to look and nearly dropped my pizza.

Dix: Are you sure it actually happened, and not in the porn you were watching?

Butch: If it was, he would have sucked me off before the pizza got cold, but no such luck.

Harry: I feel sorry for him, not everyone wants to see your big boner.

Butch: I beg to differ, judging from all the requests for cock pics around the clock.

Dix: What a popular guy, you are! I generally just ignore them, that’s unless sex is on the cards.

Butch: I rarely share mine either, you never know where they will end up. There are too many pic collectors out there and reposting anything they can get their hands on online.

Harry: I think I’ve told you it had happened to me a long time ago. Once it’s out there, there’s no taking back. Anyway, it must be the weather, my glass is empty again. Who’s around, is it?

Dix: Not sure, but I’m happy to get this one. Same again, Harry? You too, Butch?

Harry: Very kind of you to offer. Yes, please.

Butch: Yeah, that’ll be great. You know, you don’t need any excuse to chat up Trevor at the bar.

Dix: I’m not. Don’t you know he’s already taken, like most sexy men? I won’t be long.